My hairdresser has quit! I assumed the many weeks of being closed was the cause of a career change but was surprised when she shared that she simply could no longer take the abuse of customers. She said it had become a daily occurrence to have folks arrive to the salon refusing to wear a mask, refusing to book appointments or refusing to follow the COVID-19 protocols of the salon. And some of those who were able to follow these simple instructions would sit in her salon chair complaining nonstop about everything.
“Each morning I dreaded coming in and by my lunch break I felt like a weight was on my shoulders.” So, she took a full time job in a completely different field and no longer deals with the public.
She is not alone. It would seem many are fed up with rude and toxic interactions. I noticed last week a new sign was taped up at the McDonald’s drive thru. It reads, “We believe in fostering gracious behavior in our restaurants and creating a pleasant environment for both our guests and staff. Please treat our staff with respect and dignity. McDonald’s reserves the right not to serve abusive customers”
A similar sign went up at a couple of grocery stores in town and the Dollar Stores.
Let’s tread lightly. It has been a long pandemic for everyone. Yelling at the drive thru waitress or the grocery store clerk is not going to solve any of your problems. I guarantee you will actually feel worse and most definitely so will everyone who heard you. So, stop it.
Do yourself a favor and everyone around you, be kind if for no other reason than the kindness will come back to you! How you treat others is how life will treat you. As Mother Teresa said, “Kind words can be short and easy to speak, but their echoes are truly endless.”
Choose kindness,
Rev. Heather McCarrel
Minister at Kemble-Sarawak, Zion-Keppel Pastoral Charge
Photo by Matt Collamer,used with permission/ Unsplash
July 1st I arrived as the new minister at a country church: the Kemble-Sarawak, Zion-Keppel Pastoral Charge. The ministry now runs out of two church buildings, Kemble-Sarawak United Church and Zion-Keppel United Church. They are located along the foothills of Kemble Mountain, skirting the Kemble Mountain Management Area of the Grey Sauble Conservation Authority. Each morning I drive along panoramic views of Georgian Bay on my way to the churches and marvel at God’s beauty in the picturesque countryside.
The folks of this pastoral charge have warmly welcomed me and my husband. A masked Welcoming Party surprised me one morning presenting a wicker laundry basket filled to the brim with homemade preserves, jams, wines, ciders, breads, baked goods, Kemble Mountain Maple syrup, Big Bay ice cream gift certificates, and some wonderful books to read. The basket was so large I could not possibly lift it. Each item given from different members of the churches. I was speechless. Their generous and sincere welcome brought tears to my eyes. It is good to be back among country folks!
Small country churches are big into curing! All kinds of curing occur, the curing of loneliness, heart break, and illnesses. They cure each other the best way they know, by the giving of themselves.
In one country church I served there was a woman who couldn’t tell the story of her husband’s death without crying. This isn’t surprising except she cried more from gratitude then from her grief. Now, don’t get me wrong, her husband’s death was the cause of profound pain for her and her family but when she shared how the folks of her country church responded to this death her tears of grief turned into tears of gratitude.
You see, she and her four children were new to Canada; they had arrived only 2 years earlier. When her husband died suddenly she was left to raise her children alone in a foreign country. When news spread of her husband’s death it wasn’t long and folks began to arrive at her front door with casseroles, homemade bread, baked goods and fresh vegetables. And, it is in this moment of the retelling that she always begins to cry, when autumn arrived the men of the church arrived one morning without warning and by day’s end had brought in all her crops.
She never forgot their generosity of spirit and even 20 years later, when sharing this story; her shoulders would shake from the sobbing.
Yes, country folks know how to cure, healing each other one loaf of bread or fresh baked pie at a time.
In another church I served a young couple with 3 children had their house burn to the ground one morning. It was early March and a spark from the wood stove caught something flammable in the kitchen. By the time the flames were noticed they were jumping through the kitchen window. Thankfully, the husband, wife and youngest child were in the barn while the two eldest were on the bus heading to school. They lost everything except each other.
We handed over the keys to our furnished manse, since I wasn’t using it. Soon folks came from all around with what it took to “cure” this shattered family. Mennonites drove their wagons up the lane way and quietly dropped off roasts of beef, bags of potatoes and boxes of home baked goods. Pickup trucks carrying new toys, clothes, bedding and even dog food for the two beloved canines arrived. Quickly a Saturday night dance was arranged in the town hall with all proceeds going to aid the family. It was six months until they returned home; during that time I often witnessed “drop offs” as folks continued to support this family. One Sunday morning the husband stood in my office door with tears running down his cheeks sharing his gratitude for all that had been done for him and his family. He said God had saved his family from the fire and the community saved them from despair.
The author of 1 Peter 3:8 reminds us to “be like minded, be sympathetic, love one another, be compassionate and humble” and by doing so, he writes we gain blessing. But, I would add that even more than being blessed we become blessing and by so doing we join God here and now in building up the Kin-dom of God!
Blessings,
Rev. Heather McCarrel
Minister at Kemble & Zion United Churches
I took the photo with this Blog just up the road from Kemble United Church; a view of Georgian Bay behind a farm (June 2021).
My daughter got married on Saturday! Despite the pandemic, severe thunderstorm warnings and the touch down of a tornado, it was a day of bewildering beauty.
It was exactly 9 years ago Saturday, June 26th, that my daughter and her new husband had their first date. Over a year ago, when they realized this date fell on a Saturday, they announced their intention to mark this most important anniversary with Holy Matrimony.
A wedding liturgy was created by the two of them full of prayers, blessing and gratitude to their Great Creator.
After much deliberation, the ceremony was set to occur at a covered picnic shelter perched on a pier surrounded by Georgian Bay. The morning of the big day we gathered and filled the picnic shelter with tiny white lights and loosely wrapped white netting to create a heavenly vibe. The green carpeting invited the green glow from outside in, while blue tables covered with white lace, topped with lit lanterns and flowers of many colours added a rich elegance. A white wicker table and matching chair placed with a pot of tall lavender added much to the already divine setting.
As the ceremony began, we stood inside the picnic shelter while an otherworldly mist hung over the water under a sky of swirling blue and grey tones. A small group gathered to witness this most special moment. Only 10 close family members were inside the picnic shelter and others had paddled over in either a kayak or a canoe, each minding the COVID rules of distancing! As the presiding minister, I purposely spoke loud enough so to be heard both on and off shore.
With the aid of a cell phone and several Bluetooth speakers, lovely music could be heard during both the ceremony and the time of celebration that followed! A local restaurant prepared a lovely meal, which was delivered in individual boxes for each guest, right down to the fresh berry-laden cheesecake.
Each photo is enhanced by the moody sky, misty air and the ever-changing bay waters. We did not have heavy rain nor were there strong winds; the Good Lord himself cupped his hands over and around the picnic shelter. We were greatly blessed.
As the day began to draw to a close and the picnic shelter filled with laughter and dancing, I marveled at this young couple and knew they have all it takes to travel the many twists and turns life will present. For, as it is written, “Life isn’t about waiting for the storm to pass, its learning to dance in the rain.”
“Do you have time to go for a drive?” He added, “There is something really cool I want to show you.”
Within minutes we were driving out of town, up winding country roads and down narrow one-lane goat trails until we arrived at our destination. As we closed the car doors, he explained that what stood before me was most likely one of the oldest tree I will ever see. It was remarkable! A tall, wide and stately Elm, which in itself is a rarity in these parts. Did you know Elm trees can grow upwards to 120 feet tall?
Reverently we walked toward this ancient tree and as I laid my palm upon the bark my son explained how, by chance, he came upon this old tree tucked in the edge of an untouched ancient forest along the curve of an old country lane-way.
My son had spent a summer working for the Grey Sauble Conservation Authority, and it was the wee creek that ran beside that tree that had brought him out to this forgotten place. He was tasked with the job of gathering water samples from all the little, out-of-the-way waterways.
The tall grass and over grown vines told me that not many had traveled by this marvelous tree, which made me admire it even more; a hidden gem! Perhaps its hidden place had protected it from the dreaded Dutch Elm Disease.
This old tree has grown so old it is now starting to part in two. Down the middle of its trunk was a large dark cervix measuring somewhere between 4 feet high to 2 feet wide. With a tone of wonder I said, “Look, it is a doorway to another dimension. Perhaps we would find Narnia if we dared to enter!”
My son’s days of such fantastic play are well behind him; I hope only for a time. He turned and got back into the car but I didn’t want to leave quite yet- the tree and I had just met. I tried to walk the width of the tree but could not due to the bushes and vines that have grown up around it. I stood in silence trying to imagine all the history this tree had lived through and then, as a final gesture, I ran my hand through its large rippled leaves.
As we drove away I thanked my son for introducing me to this fine old tree and he shared that the day he discovered it he too stood in awe of its beauty and size, “isn’t nature full of amazing surprises?”
John O Donohue, Catholic Priest and poet, was wide awake to God’s beauty in nature. In his book, “The Invisible Embrace: Beauty” he writes, “Every life is braided with luminous moments.”
As we move back into the busyness of life may we remember to pause long enough to look around for God’s beauty and to be moved by God’s luminous moments!
This story is being shared in honour of Pride Month and also in honour of Father’s Day, it is shared with permission.
He was one of 14 youth who had gathered that morning. All were struggling with life in one way or another, and I had been asked to come and speak about spirituality.
We moved the chairs into the middle of the room, with the sectional couch making up the lion’s share of our attempted circle. Some lounged on the sectional, while others sat rigid on the chairs, and two nervously paced the room.
For the ice breaker, I had prepared a game of “Would You Rather?” Asking questions such as “Would you rather be able to fly or be invisible?” and everyone would share their answers. As we moved along in the game, I deliberately made the questions more thought provoking; “Would you rather go without your cell phone or laptop?”, “Would you rather meet God alone in an elevator or in a crowd on the street?”
This last question brought much discussion and several of those lounging sat up. One of those sitting on a chair jumped to his feet and boisterously answered, “Oh I would want God alone, he has a lot to answer for!” Many echoed similar sentiments.
I ventured to say, “You can have God alone, any time you want. Does anyone know what I am talking about?” They blankly looked back at me. “I am talking about prayer.”
After all the laughter and joking ended, I said “I am serious. How many of you have ever uttered a prayer to God?”
“I have told God to F-Off lots of time!” One youth offered, others either laughing or nodding in agreement.
After much discussion, I offered to end our time in a collective prayer with everyone helping. I started,
“Dear Creator, we know you are here with us but sometimes you seem so silent, so absent that it is hard for us to believe you even exist. Today we come to you in prayer, each of us bringing our own stuff. Please listen now as we share our stuff with you….”.
I then tossed a tennis ball to the youth beside me. After she added a short line she then passed the ball along; this happened until all who wanted to add to our prayer had done so.
I ended the prayer saying, “Thank-you God, Father and Mother of us all. May we feel your peaceful and loving arms around us as we go from here today. Amen.”
They silently got up and left the room, except one youth who had curled up in the corner of the sectional. He sobbed so loudly it seemed to embarrass him. He tried to stifle his anguish.
I moved my chair a bit closer and quietly asked “Do you want to talk?”
“I have never prayed before and it hit me in my gut. It hit me hard.” He sniffed then added “You called God my Father, but I hate my Father. He beat me every chance he got. He said he was beating “the gay” out of me. But he never did succeed; I’m still gay.”
My heart hit my throat and I almost teared up.
He continued, “If God is like my dad then I want nothing to do with him.”
I nodded, what he said made sense. Who wants an abusive and cruel God?
Quietly I said, “You are wonderfully made by a great God. You are one of God’s masterpieces and God loves you.”
He froze at the thought, trying to absorb the meaning of my words.
Continuing I suggested, “Perhaps God could be your new Father. The one who loves you deeply, never leaves you and is always listening.”
“Yeah, maybe.” He said
Then after a silent pause he added, “I like that idea. God as my Father, that does help me feel better.”
He asked for a Bible, so I gave him one marking the sections he should read first, and before we parted, we again shared in a prayer.
A couple of months later I bumped into him. He looked entirely different! His big smile told me he was well. He informed me he had his own apartment, was going to the local college and had a part time job.
“My new Father and I talk daily, I have been reading his books and you have no idea how much of a difference it has made.”
Actually, just by looking at him, I had a pretty good idea what a difference it was making.
Every year, when Father’s Day rolls around, I think of this young man and say a prayer in his honour, hoping him and his new Father are still in daily conversation!
Once I read that the best way to keep your lawn weed free was by keeping it thick with grass; by seeding regularly it keeps the lawn too thick for weeds to land, root and take over.
So, I seeded my lawn yesterday. There was no fertilizer or hours spent replenishing the soil before seeding. I simply walked the length and width of my yard with a hand held seeder releasing the seeds as evenly as I could. Once the seeds were down I then stomped around my yard pressing the seeds into the soil so they would stay put. As I did so several neighbors drove by, honked their horns and waved, presumably mumbling, “What is she up to now?”
Thing is, I actually like weeds! To me there is nothing more beautiful than a lawn taken over by dandelions and I have a rule, if it is green it can grow on my lawn. However, my neighbors feel differently.
One summer a neighbor, who has an obvious green thumb, was discovered standing in the middle of my front lawn remorsefully looking around. I watched from my front window knowing it could not be good news. Sure enough a plant by the name “Creeping Charlie” had taken root in my lawn and was now creeping over to his lawn. I was handed a tub and instructed upon its use so to end Charlie’s travels.
I handed it back courageously and said, “Charlie is welcome here!” Apparently my neighbor isn’t as inclusive! (I have a hard rule against chemical warfare)
To be fair this neighbor’s yard and flower beds are so impressive his house has been on the “Tour of Gardens” and he spends many a summer evening giving ‘wanna be’ gardeners lessons. My yard is “the vain of his existence” but, I would like to offer a re-framing. Anyone can grow beautiful flowers in perfect conditions. My yard is like the ultimate challenge; it proves what a pro he really is. He should be thanking me!
He is a good and kind neighbor and as Jesus so clearly instructed, the most important commandment is to love the Lord you God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind and with all your strength. The second is this: ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.’ There is no commandment greater than these.” (Matthew 13:29-31)
So for my neighbor’s sake I seeded my lawn yesterday. As I marched up and down my front lawn I did so with a bit more gusto then required with hopes all would notice my efforts at keeping Charlie and the dandelions out!
Whenever life becomes overwhelming, I go outside and stand under my maple tree and lookup. Whether it is day or night, sunshine or rain, I always gain courage by standing under my maple.
I look past the tall trunk and through the upward reaching limbs and gaze at the timeless sky. Knowing that under this sky the human story has unfolded for generations, it has been the canopy of our existence as a species.
That moon I see is the same moon that led the Israelites in their 40-year journey to the promised land. The same sun that shone down on Jesus as he traveled from town to town, shines on us today.
It isn’t enough to just stand under the maple, to gain the full extent of its grounding power one must lean on its trunk or run their hands along one of its limbs. I know it must sound silly, but by holding onto a limb, even for a moment, is like holding the hand of an old, wise and calming presence in the universe.
If you have never stood under an old stately tree and leaned into its soothing presence, then I highly recommend you do so, right now, no matter the time of day or the weather, just go and touch a bit of the grounding wisdom of the universe.
It began as a daily observation but became a source of great healing. I first noticed little green tips pointing out of the cold, hard ground. They grew tall seemingly right before my eyes. Then the buds appeared, growing slowly to reveal their hidden gems. At last my flower beds are full of their yellow, white, pink and purple celebration, perfuming the air with promises of sunshine, warmth and joyful days ahead.
These slowed-down COVID days have afforded me the time to sit still and capture all the life around me. This life has been happening all along unnoticed. Now I have charted the ever changing growth of the flowers, the budding and growth of the maple trees (have you noticed the bobbles they are now donning?) and the dramatic brightness of the forsythia bushes.
I have sat in silence enjoying the building of new nests and the refurbishing of old ones. Many giggles have been shared over the amusing antics of the red, black and grey squirrels. And I had no idea how many visitors there were to my backyard until now: midnight visits from raccoons and owls, followed by a chorus of morning birds rising alongside the spring sun on the backs of rabbits, skunks and the neighborhood cats.
The ongoing affairs in my small piece of God’s Creation promises to entertain me in the weeks ahead. I anticipate the lilac bushes bursting with colour, the blueberry bushes exploding with sustenance and the rhubarb growing tall and unyielding. The vegetable garden has been tilled and waits to receive the peas, beans and tomato plants that now fill my window sills. And I can’t wait to see how many chicks the robins produce.
The great Stoic Markus Aurelius wrote that having stillness allows us to “concentrate on living what can be lived (the present moment).” Only then, he said, “can you spend the time you have left in tranquility. And in kindness. And at peace with the spirit within you.” (Daily Stoic: Ryan Holiday)
May we all appreciate the gift of stillness which these Stay-At-Home days afford us and may we glean tranquility, peace and beauty with each and every day.
Blessings,
Rev. Heather McCarrel
Photo by Melissa Askew used with permission/Unsplash
P.S. With gratitude to Sandy Lindsay requesting that this BLOG continue in the Saugeen Times and with permission granted from my denomination it has been decided Stainglasslens will continue to part of this online newspaper.
Bear had a heart condition. The surgeons did all they could when he underwent heart surgery but it didn’t go as well as hoped. Eventually, he made it home and for the last 8 years before his death he was aware that his heart wasn’t as strong as it used to be. But that isn’t the heart condition I am referring to.
Bear had the kind of heart condition that made him phone his mother every Thursday evening just because he knew how much she loved to hear his voice.
He had the kind of heart condition that made him a strong but fair foreman at the local factory and the kind of guy you would want on your ball team or better yet, as your coach.
This big, burly, and, tattoo covered man single handily raised a fine son; one who is now raising children of his own. Bear became a single parent when his son was only two months old and gladly quit his motorcycle gang, bought a house and set up a home. That is the kind of heart condition Bear had.
Bear liked to spend his summers over at The Country Camp Ground, a few miles out of town, where he became known as “the Pope of the Camp”! He thoroughly enjoyed sitting in his lawn chair on the deck by his trailer and each passerby received a kind word or he had a joke ready to share. He also had a listening ear and clear common sense advice for all who sought him out. Bear made time for everyone.
As a minister I am privileged to preside at the funerals of many over the course of a year and I will never forget the funeral service for Bear. The funeral home was filled beyond capacity with a spill over crowd in two separate rooms and the service being viewed via TV screens.
There were entire ball teams who arrived in their jerseys. Bikers who arrived in leathers with the logo for “Saddle Tramps” pasted on their backs, and many others arrived who wiped tears from their faces as they viewed photos of Bear’s life.
After the service one young man, about 15 years old, and his mother approached me. This young man, wiping tears from his eyes said, “Bear was like a father to me.” Then he went forward and laid his hands on the urn. His mother turned to me and said, “My son was experiencing terrible bullying at school and I was at a loss of what to do. About 3 years ago we came to the Country Camp for summer holidays and it was there we met Bear. Bear took my son under his wings even keeping in touch with him over the school year. He really did become like a father to my son. I am indebted to Bear for how he helped my son. We are already missing him deeply.”
The Apostle Paul writes that we are to “outdo one another in showing love”(Romans 12:10). Bear would have won that competition hands down!
He leaves behind a legacy of love and an example for us all to follow; the world sure could use a few more with Bear’s heart condition!
Rev. Heather McCarrel
Photo by Tengyart, used with permission/Unsplash
I would like to thank Sandy Lindsay for adding my weekly BLOG to the Saugeen Times, it has been a privilege. On May 5th, 2021 I will discontinue my ministry at Port Elgin United Church and so, my BLOGs will no longer be appearing in the Saugeen Times. These weekly writings will be appearing at https://stainglasslens.wordpress.com/
Here we are again, another month-long lockdown in Ontario. This time the lockdown looks different than the first two. This time we have the vaccine rolling out across the province and even as the daily case count climbs, so does the daily count of vaccinations.
So, even amidst the fears of the variants we can start to imagine a day when the new normal will arrive. In the meantime, we must find ways to cope.
One way to cope is by reminding ourselves not to fuss over things of which we have no control. We cannot control when a lockdown is determined or for how long. We can control our own response to this shut-down and the ever-present risk of contracting COVID-19 or one of it’s variants.
It seems like a long journey in having to live with less. We have less opportunities to go out and enjoy an evening on the town, less dining in restaurants, less movies in the theaters and less time with our loved ones.
However, there is also a lot more happening now as well. We have gained more appreciation for other things in life such as more dinners at home, more down time to watch the sunset and to listen to birdsong, and more awareness of the beauty and peace that can be found in our own backyards. We have a lot more time to garden, clean out the closets and arrange our homes as we may have always wanted. More opportunity to bake, paint, sew or build that bookshelf.
As the Daily Stoic Ryan Holiday writes, “When we do less, we get a double benefit. We cut out what is inessential, and we do what is essential much, much better. There are not a lot of redeeming qualities to a pandemic, but we should at least take this lesson from it. We are being taught what less looks like. We are being taught that less can actually be more.”
May we all enjoy the more that has been brought into our lives during these “safe at home” days.
Rev. Heather McCarrel
The photo with this Blog was taken by Etienne Girardet used with permission/Unsplash
Stain Glass Lens of the 21st Century 