Stain Glass Lens of the 21st Century

Category: Uncategorized

  • Juicy, Juicy Gossip!

    Juicy, Juicy Gossip!

    About two weeks back I received a phone call from a friend I hadn’t spoken to in ages.  At first the conversation was wonderful, she filled me in on how she was doing, what was new in her life and then she began to share what was happening with some of our friends.   She seemed to have the scoop on everyone and as I listened I began to feel a bit uncomfortable with the conversation.  

    Upon reflection I realized my guilt; listening to gossip is as bad as being the one sharing the gossip.  I have taken all three roles; I have been the one gossiping, the one listening and certainly the one being gossiped about.

    Why do we gossip?  We know it is wrong, we know it makes us look small, we know often the truth of others is not shared and yet, we do it in all kinds of ways.

    I suspect this pandemic has increased our bad habit of gossiping.   To be the one gossiping means we are the one who possesses some juicy information.  This feeds our ego and makes us appear important and for a few minutes we hold a position of superiority and attention getting. We savor this kind of attention.  As social beings we want to be the “top dog”, the one everyone looks to for information.   Given all the isolation of the last 16 months it isn’t surprising that some are filling their need for attention by gossiping even if it is at the expense of the truth.

    Also, gossip can be used to create social alliances.  Have you ever noticed that those who gossip tend to hang out together?  The unspoken norm is you can be part of our “group” if you believe and agree with what we say and greater status is given to those who are good at spreading the gossip or those who bring the group new gossip.  Those who choose not to gossip or who question the validity of the information tend not to be accepted by the group, or even worse, become the target of the gossipers.

    The saying is true, “Gossip ends at a wise person’s ear.” Those who possess certain wisdom are not usually the ones caught in spreading, listening to or entertaining any form of gossip.

    It is my hope we can emerge from this pandemic a wiser, kinder and better version of our pre-pandemic selves.  Let’s make the commitment to be honest in our conversations and careful in our care of each other.

    Blessings,

    Rev.Heather McCarrel    

    Photo by Ben White used with permission/Unsplash

  • Tread Lightly

    Tread Lightly

    My hairdresser has quit!  I assumed the many weeks of being closed was the cause of a career change but was surprised when she shared that she simply could no longer take the abuse of customers.  She said it had become a daily occurrence to have folks arrive to the salon refusing to wear a mask, refusing to book appointments or refusing to follow the COVID-19 protocols of the salon.  And some of those who were able to follow these simple instructions would sit in her salon chair complaining nonstop about everything.

      “Each morning I dreaded coming in and by my lunch break I felt like a weight was on my shoulders.”  So, she took a full time job in a completely different field and no longer deals with the public. 

    She is not alone.  It would seem many are fed up with rude and toxic interactions.  I noticed last week a new sign was taped up at the McDonald’s drive thru.  It reads, “We believe in fostering gracious behavior in our restaurants and creating a pleasant environment for both our guests and staff. Please treat our staff with respect and dignity.  McDonald’s reserves the right not to serve abusive customers”

    A similar sign went up at a couple of grocery stores in town and the Dollar Stores.

    Let’s tread lightly. It has been a long pandemic for everyone. Yelling at the drive thru waitress or the grocery store clerk is not going to solve any of your problems.  I guarantee you will actually feel worse and most definitely so will everyone who heard you.  So, stop it. 

     Do yourself a favor and everyone around you, be kind if for no other reason than the kindness will come back to you! How you treat others is how life will treat you.  As Mother Teresa said, “Kind words can be short and easy to speak, but their echoes are truly endless.”

    Choose kindness,

    Rev. Heather McCarrel

    Minister at Kemble-Sarawak, Zion-Keppel Pastoral Charge

    Photo by Matt Collamer,used with permission/ Unsplash

  • Bewildering Beauty

    Bewildering Beauty

    My daughter got married on Saturday! Despite the pandemic, severe thunderstorm warnings and the touch down of a tornado, it was a day of bewildering beauty.

    It was exactly 9 years ago Saturday, June 26th, that my daughter and her new husband had their first date.  Over a year ago, when they realized this date fell on a Saturday, they announced their intention to mark this most important anniversary with Holy Matrimony.

    A wedding liturgy was created by the two of them full of prayers, blessing and gratitude to their Great Creator. 

    After much deliberation, the ceremony was set to occur at a covered picnic shelter perched on a pier surrounded by Georgian Bay.  The morning of the big day we gathered and filled the picnic shelter with tiny white lights and loosely wrapped white netting to create a heavenly vibe. The green carpeting invited the green glow from outside in, while blue tables covered with white lace, topped with lit lanterns and flowers of many colours added a rich elegance. A white wicker table and matching chair placed with a pot of tall lavender added much to the already divine setting.  

    As the ceremony began, we stood inside the picnic shelter while an otherworldly mist hung over the water under a sky of swirling blue and grey tones. A small group gathered to witness this most special moment.  Only 10 close family members were inside the picnic shelter and others had paddled over in either a kayak or a canoe, each minding the COVID rules of distancing!  As the presiding minister, I purposely spoke loud enough so to be heard both on and off shore.

    With the aid of a cell phone and several Bluetooth speakers, lovely music could be heard during both the ceremony and the time of celebration that followed!  A local restaurant prepared a lovely meal, which was delivered in individual boxes for each guest, right down to the fresh berry-laden cheesecake.

    Each photo is enhanced by the moody sky, misty air and the ever-changing bay waters.  We did not have heavy rain nor were there strong winds; the Good Lord himself cupped his hands over and around the picnic shelter. We were greatly blessed.

    As the day began to draw to a close and the picnic shelter filled with laughter and dancing, I marveled at this young couple and knew they have all it takes to travel the many twists and turns life will present. For, as it is written, “Life isn’t about waiting for the storm to pass, its learning to dance in the rain.”  

    Blessings,

    Rev. Heather McCarrel

  • Father’s Day

    Father’s Day

    This story is being shared in honour of Pride Month and also in honour of Father’s Day, it is shared with permission. 

    He was one of 14 youth who had gathered that morning.  All were struggling with life in one way or another, and I had been asked to come and speak about spirituality.

    We moved the chairs into the middle of the room, with the sectional couch making up the lion’s share of our attempted circle.  Some lounged on the sectional, while others sat rigid on the chairs, and two nervously paced the room.

    For the ice breaker, I had prepared a game of “Would You Rather?”  Asking questions such as “Would you rather be able to fly or be invisible?” and everyone would share their answers.  As we moved along in the game, I deliberately made the questions more thought provoking; “Would you rather go without your cell phone or laptop?”, “Would you rather meet God alone in an elevator or in a crowd on the street?”

    This last question brought much discussion and several of those lounging sat up. One of those sitting on a chair jumped to his feet and boisterously answered, “Oh I would want God alone, he has a lot to answer for!” Many echoed similar sentiments. 

    I ventured to say, “You can have God alone, any time you want.  Does anyone know what I am talking about?”  They blankly looked back at me. “I am talking about prayer.”

    After all the laughter and joking ended, I said “I am serious.  How many of you have ever uttered a prayer to God?”

    “I have told God to F-Off lots of time!” One youth offered, others either laughing or nodding in agreement.

    After much discussion, I offered to end our time in a collective prayer with everyone helping. I started,  

    “Dear Creator, we know you are here with us but sometimes you seem so silent, so absent that it is hard for us to believe you even exist. Today we come to you in prayer, each of us bringing our own stuff.  Please listen now as we share our stuff with you….”.

    I then tossed a tennis ball to the youth beside me. After she added a short line she then passed the ball along; this happened until all who wanted to add to our prayer had done so.

    I ended the prayer saying, “Thank-you God, Father and Mother of us all.  May we feel your peaceful and loving arms around us as we go from here today.  Amen.”

    They silently got up and left the room, except one youth who had curled up in the corner of the sectional.  He sobbed so loudly it seemed to embarrass him. He tried to stifle his anguish.

    I moved my chair a bit closer and quietly asked “Do you want to talk?”

    “I have never prayed before and it hit me in my gut. It hit me hard.”  He sniffed then added “You called God my Father, but I hate my Father. He beat me every chance he got.  He said he was beating “the gay” out of me. But he never did succeed; I’m still gay.”

    My heart hit my throat and I almost teared up.   

    He continued, “If God is like my dad then I want nothing to do with him.”

    I nodded, what he said made sense. Who wants an abusive and cruel God?

    Quietly I said, “You are wonderfully made by a great God.  You are one of God’s masterpieces and God loves you.”   

    He froze at the thought, trying to absorb the meaning of my words.

    Continuing I suggested, “Perhaps God could be your new Father. The one who loves you deeply, never leaves you and is always listening.”

    “Yeah, maybe.”  He said

    Then after a silent pause he added, “I like that idea.  God as my Father, that does help me feel better.”

    He asked for a Bible, so I gave him one marking the sections he should read first, and before we parted, we again shared in a prayer.

    A couple of months later I bumped into him. He looked entirely different!  His big smile told me he was well.  He informed me he had his own apartment, was going to the local college and had a part time job.

    “My new Father and I talk daily, I have been reading his books and you have no idea how much of a difference it has made.”

    Actually, just by looking at him, I had a pretty good idea what a difference it was making.

    Every year, when Father’s Day rolls around, I think of this young man and say a prayer in his honour, hoping him and his new Father are still in daily conversation!

    Blessings,

    Rev. Heather McCarrel

    Photo by Dulcey Lima/Unsplash

  • What’s A Weed?

    What’s A Weed?

    Once I read that the best way to keep your lawn weed free was by keeping it thick with grass; by seeding regularly it keeps the lawn too thick for weeds to land, root and take over.

    So, I seeded my lawn yesterday.  There was no fertilizer or hours spent replenishing the soil before seeding. I simply walked the length and width of my yard with a hand held seeder releasing the seeds as evenly as I could. Once the seeds were down I then stomped around my yard pressing the seeds into the soil so they would stay put.  As I did so several neighbors drove by, honked their horns and waved, presumably mumbling, “What is she up to now?”

    Thing is, I actually like weeds!  To me there is nothing more beautiful than a lawn taken over by dandelions and I have a rule, if it is green it can grow on my lawn.  However, my neighbors feel differently.

    One summer a neighbor, who has an obvious green thumb, was discovered standing in the middle of my front lawn remorsefully looking around. I watched from my front window knowing it could not be good news.  Sure enough a plant by the name “Creeping Charlie” had taken root in my lawn and was now creeping over to his lawn.  I was handed a tub and instructed upon its use so to end Charlie’s travels.

    I handed it back courageously and said, “Charlie is welcome here!”  Apparently my neighbor isn’t as inclusive!  (I have a hard rule against chemical warfare)

    To be fair this neighbor’s yard and flower beds are so impressive his house has been on the “Tour of Gardens” and he spends many a summer evening giving ‘wanna be’ gardeners lessons.   My yard is “the vain of his existence” but, I would like to offer a re-framing.  Anyone can grow beautiful flowers in perfect conditions.  My yard is like the ultimate challenge; it proves what a pro he really is.  He should be thanking me!

    He is a good and kind neighbor and as Jesus so clearly instructed, the most important commandment is to love the Lord you God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind and with all your strength.  The second is this: ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.’ There is no commandment greater than these.” (Matthew 13:29-31)

    So for my neighbor’s sake I seeded my lawn yesterday.  As I marched up and down my front lawn I did so with a bit more gusto then required with hopes all would notice my efforts at keeping Charlie and the dandelions out!

    Blessings,

    Rev. Heather McCarrel

    Photo by Steven Cordes/Unsplash

  • The Call of 215 Children

    The Call of 215 Children

    The discovery this past week of the remains of 215 children at the site of a former residential school in Kamloops, British Columbia, has left me reeling, grieved and ashamed.  This unthinkable and horrendous act didn’t happen in some far-off place, but right here within my own country.  And my fear is more graves of this kind may be found once they begin to look closer at other residential schools. 

    What adds to my shame is that these residential schools were led by the churches, in the name of God.  As one who loves the church and as one who is a representative of the church, I feel sick.   The God I worship is one of love, inclusion and respect; the acts of these residential schools do not, in any form, represent the God I have gotten to know within my Christian faith.  

    “What can I do now?”  I asked myself. 

     I want to make right that which can’t be made right.  I can’t go back and change what has happened, but I can live differently now in light of the knowledge of the past.  I can commit to being now what the church should have been then: respecting differences, seeking understanding, supporting each other and listening deeply. I want to live exactly as Jesus teaches in the Golden Rule “To do unto others as you would have them do unto you.” (Matthew 7:12, Luke 6:31)

     It is my hope to be one who holds space for my First Nations, Metis and Inuit neighbors. When we hold space for others, we open our hearts, offer unconditional support and let go of judgement and control. Thich Nhat Hanh teaches that Compassionate Listening is when “You listen not to judge or blame. You listen just because you want the other to suffer less.”

    As a white woman of privilege I can scarcely begin to understand what it means to be a First Nations, Metis or Inuit person in today’s world, but I do desire to do my part to lessen the suffering and aid in changing the future.   I commit myself to compassionate listening, remaining open, ready to learn, to advocate on behalf of and to make changes, especially beginning with my own attitudes and perspectives.

    The shame I carry is my own, for all those times I have chosen to look the other way, but these 215 children have called beyond the grave for us to either participate in their story and learn a better way or to continue carrying shame. The choice is ours.

    Rev. Heather McCarrel

    The photo with this Blog was taken by Aurelien Lemasson-Theobald used with permission/Unsplash

  • When Less Is More

    When Less Is More

    Here we are again, another month-long lockdown in Ontario.  This time the lockdown looks different than the first two.  This time we have the vaccine rolling out across the province and even as the daily case count climbs, so does the daily count of vaccinations.

    So, even amidst the fears of the variants we can start to imagine a day when the new normal will arrive.  In the meantime, we must find ways to cope.

    One way to cope is by reminding ourselves not to fuss over things of which we have no control.  We cannot control when a lockdown is determined or for how long.  We can control our own response to this shut-down and the ever-present risk of contracting COVID-19 or one of it’s variants.

    It seems like a long journey in having to live with less.  We have less opportunities to go out and enjoy an evening on the town, less dining in restaurants, less movies in the theaters and less time with our loved ones. 

    However, there is also a lot more happening now as well. We have gained more appreciation for other things in life such as more dinners at home, more down time to watch the sunset and to listen to birdsong, and more awareness of the beauty and peace that can be found in our own backyards.  We have a lot more time to garden, clean out the closets and arrange our homes as we may have always wanted. More opportunity to bake, paint, sew or build that bookshelf.

    As the Daily Stoic Ryan Holiday writes, “When we do less, we get a double benefit. We cut out what is inessential, and we do what is essential much, much better. There are not a lot of redeeming qualities to a pandemic, but we should at least take this lesson from it. We are being taught what less looks like. We are being taught that less can actually be more.”

    May we all enjoy the more that has been brought into our lives during these “safe at home” days.

    Rev. Heather McCarrel

    The photo with this Blog was taken by Etienne Girardet used with permission/Unsplash

  • Easter Memories

    Easter Memories

    The very first country church I served was an hour and 20-minute drive from my home which, on Easter Sunday meant I left home at 5:30 a.m. so to be on time for the 7:00 a.m. Sunrise Service.  The drive was one of my favorites all year with the morning mist rising out of the quiet fields and the soft choral music of CBC Radio playing in the background.

     We would gather in the church basement with the coffee percolating, tea brewing and a long table laden with Easter treats awaiting our return.   As the piper warmed up his bagpipes we would tighten the scarves around our necks, pull up our hoods and quietly follow  “Amazing Grace” across the road, through the cemetery and up the hill to where the statue of a soldier had been erected. 

    The cool air would warm enough to rise from our singing lips and the view of rolling country hills dotted by trees was the perfect view for this most sacred sun rise. 

    Years earlier, just after WWII, the congregation had started this Easter tradition.  It was started with the belief that Jesus’ resurrection meant all who had died would also rise some day, especially those young men lost to war. So, each Easter began with a sunrise service in the cemetery; a traditional celebration of the promise of resurrection bridging many generations.

    We would bring ourselves into worship with a prayer followed by fiddle and banjo accompanied hymns. One of the youth would read the resurrection scriptures, the minister would offer a short reflection and finally one last “Jesus Christ is Risen Today” chorus before following the piper back down to the church basement for warmed hot cross buns, homemade jam on a freshly baked tea bisque and a cup of strong coffee. 

    This year, as we celebrate our second COVID Easter, may we all be warmed by fond memories while rejoicing that the resurrection cannot be stopped even by a pandemic!

    May the power of Christ’s resurrection and the promise and hope of Easter go with us into the days ahead.  May we sing, pray, live, love, act and serve all for the glory of God. 

    May everyone have a joyous Easter, 

    Rev. Heather McCarrel

    Photo by Hugo Fergusson used with permission/ Unsplash

  • Whispers of God

    Whispers of God

    There is a little creek that runs along my neighborhood. If you are not careful you may drive right by and never notice the life which surrounds this little bending trail of water.  Usually in February it disappears under the layers and layers of snow and I have seen it dry up almost completely in mid-summer but, at times I have witnessed wondrous things by this creek. 

    Often in early summer there are huge turtles that come up from this creek and dig nests for their eggs along the roadside.  One spring evening I slowed my van to a crawl so to take in the beauty of a mother deer and its fawn as they gracefully bent their heads to drink from this creek. And then there are the wildflowers that grow along its banks; colouring the tall grasses with yellow, white and vibrant blue.  

    This week, due to a mild spell, not only did the creek break free from all the snow but it bubbled joyfully over the rocks, tree roots and even broke free from the banks that held it. What a wonderful sight and sound!

    As I stood admiring it’s tenacity to continue to strive despite all kinds of weather it made me think of the Lenten journey we are now completing.  This journey is a time of inner reflection; a time of “spring cleaning” our souls by asking such questions as “What has been tripping me up from fully experiencing God’s presence in my life?” 

    Lent is a season of tough questions, a journey of self-examination that if done honestly will improve our relationship with God and with ourselves; a deliberate movement into the deeper presence of God.

    As I stood admiring the creek the words of Jesus echoed, “Unbind him and set him free.”  Of course, Jesus was speaking of Lazarus, who had been dead but thanks to Jesus was now alive.  Words I believe are being spoken to us today. 

    What binds me to the world in such a way it prevents me from fully experiencing God’s grace? What prevents me from being fully alive?

    As Rev. Dr. Karoline M. Lewis‘, author, educator and preacher, writes, “What does grace upon grace sound like? It sounds like when you are deader than dead and you hear your name being called, by the shepherd who knows you and loves you, and you are then able to walk out of that tomb unbound to rest in the bosom of Jesus.”

    During this coming Holy Week may we all quiet the world long enough so we too hear our names being called. 

    Blessings on your Holy Week,

    Rev. Heather McCarrel

    The Photo with this Blog was taken by Maddox Howe used with permission/Unsplash

  • Safely Held

    Safely Held

    Our 20 year old cat has gone blind.  She has thinned down to a shell of what she used to be and her once beautiful blond mid-length fur is now somewhat tattered and knotted despite our best efforts.  She has eyes that we suspect sees only shapes and shades.  She maneuvers around our house out of memory and familiarity.  When we approach her, she leans in to smell who it is before commencing with her signature purrrr.

    Early one morning she wandered the upstairs hallway meowing loudly enough to wake us all.  I left my bed to sooth her.  As I reached down to pick her up; without hesitation she began to purr and snuggled into my housecoat. 

    I sat in a hallway chair petting her tiny head and cradling her fragile body and I marveled at her trust; she could not see me but responded to my presence with a kind of certainty that humbled me.  It made me wonder when I have leaned unwaveringly into the presence of God as trustingly as my blind cat leaned into my touch.  When did I cry out in the midst of my darkness with confidence that God would reach down and lift me up? 

    Her trust highlighted my doubt.  Does God really care about the battles we face, the insecurities we try to hide and the fears that keep us up at night?  Does a God of the universe even know we exist?  Are our problems even worth God’s attention when the world is so full of tragedy and pain?

    As I sat there in the darkened hallway the answer came to me; ancient words repeated through time spoken by a God whose love is timeless, “Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged, for the LORD your God will be with you wherever you go.” (Joshua 1:9).

    God is always with us, waiting to offer comfort and hope. How often do we miss experiencing God’s presence because we are so preoccupied with our own thoughts?  May you take time during this Lenten Season to pause from all the hustle and bustle long enough to be assured of God’s loving companionship.

    Blessings,

    Rev. Heather McCarrel

    Photo by Chris Abney/Unsplash