Stain Glass Lens of the 21st Century

Category: spirituality

  • The Fluttering of Wings

    The Fluttering of Wings

    Photo by Javardh/Unsplash

    There are angels among us; I know this to be true because I have seen them. 

    It wasn’t easy to make out their faces as they kept their identity well hidden behind protective glasses and face masks.  Most of them had tucked their hair up in tight caps on their heads.  These colourful caps had a large button sewn on each side and from what I could tell these buttons were used to hold up their glasses and face masks, a most ingenious design.

    My mother had been taken by ambulance to the local hospital and was later admitted.  She had been bravely battling cancer and due to some complications of her treatment was in need of some special care.  Definitely the angels that surrounded her bed were offering a compassionate and dignified care.

    One afternoon, as a couple of these angels were tending to my mother in her hospital room, I stood in the hallway with my back up against the wall.  From this vantage point I witnessed as they swirled about pushing folks in wheel chairs, aiding others to walk steadily with their canes and in one case aiding a young man with his broken arm; they were in constant motion.

    A few days later, after my mother had been moved to the local hospice I again witnessed the gentle yet strong energy of these otherworldly beings.  They tended to my mother and in equal measure took time to care for our grieved and saddened souls.  My dad, who was helplessly watching the love of his life fade away, was tended to by these angels in such a way it ministered to us all.

    What I cannot understand is how can there be both atheists and angels among us?  How can one witness the selfless care of nurses; their willingness to step fully into people’s pain, illness and messiness and not see the divinity of their presence?  They step forward when most of us purposely run in the opposite direction.  Only a great and loving God could create such beings as nurses; those both skilled and called to help others.

    I cannot watch the care of a good nurse and not turn to God and say, “Thank you!”.

    After my mother had taken her last breath and all the arrangements had been made one last nurse came to offer words of comfort and as she turned to leave the room I am almost 100% sure I heard the fluttering of wings.

    Blessings,

    Rev. Heather McCarrel

  • Each Day Is a Holy Place

    Each Day Is a Holy Place

    Photo by Patrick Schatz/Unsplash

    Summer 2021 is half over!  Sure, we could soothe ourselves by saying summer is until September 21st, but we all know the truth: Labour Day Weekend is the end of summer.

    Walmart is filling the shelves with notebooks, binders and markers.  Both teachers and parents are listening closely to hear the Ford government’s back to school plan, while pumpkin spice candles and autumn wreaths are beginning to fill the Dollar Stores.

    If only we could slow down time long enough to linger among the summer flowers, to enjoy the early morning birdsong, or even spend the evening star gazing. Is there enough time left for one more campfire, one more bike ride and one more day at the beach?

    We tend to fill our days with “to do lists” and commitments of all kinds. We rush about until, before we know it, an entire month has passed. And before we catch up with ourselves, an entire season is left behind.

    Life wasn’t meant to be lived this way.

    Rev. Dr. John O’Donough was a Catholic Priest, writer and poet who, having met the love of his life, left the priesthood 21 years after his ordination.  Sadly, 8 years later, two days after his 52nd birthday and two months after the publication of his final work Benedictus: A Book of Blessings, O’Donohue died suddenly in his sleep on January 4th, 2008.

    He left behind beautiful writings that draw us nearer to the presence of God and offer a profound awareness of the Holy surrounding us each.  He writes that each day is a holy place. Today I would like to share part of this writing with hopes it will enhance your daily journey and encourage you to slow down and savor each day that you have been given.

    We seldom notice how each day is a holy place

    Where the eucharist of the ordinary happens,

    Transforming our broken fragments

    Into an eternal continuity that keeps us.

    Somewhere in us a dignity presides

    That is more gracious than the smallness

    That fuels us with fear and force,

    A dignity that trusts the form a day takes.

    So at the end of this day, we give thanks

    For being betrothed to the unknown

    And for the secret work

    Through which the mind of the day

    And wisdom of the soul become one.

    (Excerpt from the blessing, ‘The Inner History of a Day,’ found in the book: To Bless the Space Between Us)

    Blessings,

    Rev. Heather McCarrel

    (Weekly Blogs can be found at https://stainglasslens.wordpress.com/)

  • The Sum of Our Days

    The Sum of Our Days

    I had a friend die of COVID-19.  It was an awful shock; I didn’t even know she had been sick.  It all happened so quickly. 

    Death can be cruel; interrupting a busy and full life.  It is as though she was taken from us mid-sentence. 

    Her absence has caused me to ponder some difficult questions, “How much of my life have I lived?  Is it over 50% ?  Or, maybe the meter is up to 80% already?  Who can know for sure? What is the sum of my days?”  And, “Have I lived a life that reflects what I value most? Or, have I allowed worldly worries to consume me?”

    These are tough questions to sit with all alone so I shared them with a few friends and family members.

    One friend responded that he valued honesty but then quickly amended his answer with a slight grin admitting, “Well, I value others being honest with me but I know I am not always honest with others.  So, I guess my life does not reflect my values.”

     Now, to be fair this friend, who is in his mid-40s, 2 years ago did something pretty remarkable.  He left a high paying position of prestige and power and took a de-promotion because he was tired of being under so much stress. He noticed he hardly ever laughed and decided that was much too high a price to pay.  He shared that he actually doesn’t miss the extra income as much as he imagined and no one could pay him to go back to all that stress.  “In fact,” he said, “I feel bad for those left behind in the rat race; they have no idea what price they are paying.”

    Another friend answered that she values her family above all else but upon reflection confessed, “I value family but most of the time I spend with my kids my head is still at work.  I am thinking about the next project or I am upset about whoever angered me at work that day.  Rarely am I actually 100 % present with my family.” This realization hit her hard and she too made some changes.

    What about you?  What do you value?  Are these values reflected in your life? What is the sum of your days?

    As we slowly return to a post pandemic life it is time to evaluate what we want to pick up again and what can be left behind.  This moment, right now, is ripe with the opportunity to decide the sum of our days.  We should choose well, because who knows how much time is left?

    Blessings,

    Rev. Heather McCarrel

    Photo by Sunbeam Photography used with permission/Unsplash

  • Father’s Day

    Father’s Day

    This story is being shared in honour of Pride Month and also in honour of Father’s Day, it is shared with permission. 

    He was one of 14 youth who had gathered that morning.  All were struggling with life in one way or another, and I had been asked to come and speak about spirituality.

    We moved the chairs into the middle of the room, with the sectional couch making up the lion’s share of our attempted circle.  Some lounged on the sectional, while others sat rigid on the chairs, and two nervously paced the room.

    For the ice breaker, I had prepared a game of “Would You Rather?”  Asking questions such as “Would you rather be able to fly or be invisible?” and everyone would share their answers.  As we moved along in the game, I deliberately made the questions more thought provoking; “Would you rather go without your cell phone or laptop?”, “Would you rather meet God alone in an elevator or in a crowd on the street?”

    This last question brought much discussion and several of those lounging sat up. One of those sitting on a chair jumped to his feet and boisterously answered, “Oh I would want God alone, he has a lot to answer for!” Many echoed similar sentiments. 

    I ventured to say, “You can have God alone, any time you want.  Does anyone know what I am talking about?”  They blankly looked back at me. “I am talking about prayer.”

    After all the laughter and joking ended, I said “I am serious.  How many of you have ever uttered a prayer to God?”

    “I have told God to F-Off lots of time!” One youth offered, others either laughing or nodding in agreement.

    After much discussion, I offered to end our time in a collective prayer with everyone helping. I started,  

    “Dear Creator, we know you are here with us but sometimes you seem so silent, so absent that it is hard for us to believe you even exist. Today we come to you in prayer, each of us bringing our own stuff.  Please listen now as we share our stuff with you….”.

    I then tossed a tennis ball to the youth beside me. After she added a short line she then passed the ball along; this happened until all who wanted to add to our prayer had done so.

    I ended the prayer saying, “Thank-you God, Father and Mother of us all.  May we feel your peaceful and loving arms around us as we go from here today.  Amen.”

    They silently got up and left the room, except one youth who had curled up in the corner of the sectional.  He sobbed so loudly it seemed to embarrass him. He tried to stifle his anguish.

    I moved my chair a bit closer and quietly asked “Do you want to talk?”

    “I have never prayed before and it hit me in my gut. It hit me hard.”  He sniffed then added “You called God my Father, but I hate my Father. He beat me every chance he got.  He said he was beating “the gay” out of me. But he never did succeed; I’m still gay.”

    My heart hit my throat and I almost teared up.   

    He continued, “If God is like my dad then I want nothing to do with him.”

    I nodded, what he said made sense. Who wants an abusive and cruel God?

    Quietly I said, “You are wonderfully made by a great God.  You are one of God’s masterpieces and God loves you.”   

    He froze at the thought, trying to absorb the meaning of my words.

    Continuing I suggested, “Perhaps God could be your new Father. The one who loves you deeply, never leaves you and is always listening.”

    “Yeah, maybe.”  He said

    Then after a silent pause he added, “I like that idea.  God as my Father, that does help me feel better.”

    He asked for a Bible, so I gave him one marking the sections he should read first, and before we parted, we again shared in a prayer.

    A couple of months later I bumped into him. He looked entirely different!  His big smile told me he was well.  He informed me he had his own apartment, was going to the local college and had a part time job.

    “My new Father and I talk daily, I have been reading his books and you have no idea how much of a difference it has made.”

    Actually, just by looking at him, I had a pretty good idea what a difference it was making.

    Every year, when Father’s Day rolls around, I think of this young man and say a prayer in his honour, hoping him and his new Father are still in daily conversation!

    Blessings,

    Rev. Heather McCarrel

    Photo by Dulcey Lima/Unsplash

  • What’s A Weed?

    What’s A Weed?

    Once I read that the best way to keep your lawn weed free was by keeping it thick with grass; by seeding regularly it keeps the lawn too thick for weeds to land, root and take over.

    So, I seeded my lawn yesterday.  There was no fertilizer or hours spent replenishing the soil before seeding. I simply walked the length and width of my yard with a hand held seeder releasing the seeds as evenly as I could. Once the seeds were down I then stomped around my yard pressing the seeds into the soil so they would stay put.  As I did so several neighbors drove by, honked their horns and waved, presumably mumbling, “What is she up to now?”

    Thing is, I actually like weeds!  To me there is nothing more beautiful than a lawn taken over by dandelions and I have a rule, if it is green it can grow on my lawn.  However, my neighbors feel differently.

    One summer a neighbor, who has an obvious green thumb, was discovered standing in the middle of my front lawn remorsefully looking around. I watched from my front window knowing it could not be good news.  Sure enough a plant by the name “Creeping Charlie” had taken root in my lawn and was now creeping over to his lawn.  I was handed a tub and instructed upon its use so to end Charlie’s travels.

    I handed it back courageously and said, “Charlie is welcome here!”  Apparently my neighbor isn’t as inclusive!  (I have a hard rule against chemical warfare)

    To be fair this neighbor’s yard and flower beds are so impressive his house has been on the “Tour of Gardens” and he spends many a summer evening giving ‘wanna be’ gardeners lessons.   My yard is “the vain of his existence” but, I would like to offer a re-framing.  Anyone can grow beautiful flowers in perfect conditions.  My yard is like the ultimate challenge; it proves what a pro he really is.  He should be thanking me!

    He is a good and kind neighbor and as Jesus so clearly instructed, the most important commandment is to love the Lord you God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind and with all your strength.  The second is this: ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.’ There is no commandment greater than these.” (Matthew 13:29-31)

    So for my neighbor’s sake I seeded my lawn yesterday.  As I marched up and down my front lawn I did so with a bit more gusto then required with hopes all would notice my efforts at keeping Charlie and the dandelions out!

    Blessings,

    Rev. Heather McCarrel

    Photo by Steven Cordes/Unsplash

  • The Handbook on Lock Down Living

    The Handbook on Lock Down Living

    In his book, The Little Book of Hygge: the Danish Way to Live Well, Meik Wiking from the Happiness Research Institute in Copenhagen shares research on what brings enduring happiness.  Interestingly, what he discovers would make the perfect handbook for those of us still living these pandemic days in places of government regulated “stay at home” restrictions. 

    The very word, hygge, according to Wiking, means “as creating a feeling of home.  A feeling that we are safe, that we are shielded from the world and allow ourselves to let our guard down.”  Wiking has discovered that what brings lasting happiness isn’t material possessions and job promotions but instead the simple things of life that create hygge in our home- lit candles, coffee and dessert, a good book, a quiet nook for reflection, sitting by the window with a good cup of tea watching the weather change, and enjoying a crackling campfire.

    Thankfully, this book came into my possession just as COVID-19 was arriving back in March 2020.  After reading Wiking’s findings I decided to create hygge in my home.  That night at supper I announced we were about to embark on a new experiment.  We were going to purposely cultivate happiness in our home despite the pandemic.  Then immediately after grace was shared, I lit a candle. Every evening since a candle has been lit at our dinner table. Apparently, true hygge cannot be reached without candle light!   

    Also, as instructed by Wiking, I started to brew coffee just before supper with the aroma filling the kitchen. And as instructed we began to have dessert every evening.  It was mandatory for this experiment to be complete, so dessert has been served daily. Sometimes it is just a store-bought cookie or, more recently, a seasonal treat as we make our way around a strawberry rhubarb pie.

    The post-supper coffee has been scaled down to merely a ¾ cup as we discovered our aging bodies do not tolerate caffeine in the evening so well, keeping us up well beyond our usual bedtimes.  However, that small cup of coffee has become a routine part of watching the evening news, a warm comfort as I listen to all the happenings around the world.

    We also created a comfy nook in our home, a hyggekrog.  This simple space was created around our fireplace and as instructed there is no technology. Instead, just comfortable chairs and a table covered with excellent books.  This small space has become big in our home; a place of conversations and quiet reflection. 

    As we are coming to the end of this third and last lock down and nearing the “new beginning” of vaccine living, I have wondered if it is necessary to continue our hygge habits.   One afternoon, while sitting around our hyggekrog, I posed the question and after some conversation it was decided that hygge living is here to stay. These simple every day practices anchor us in the decision to be happy.  Happiness, much like joy, doesn’t happen by accident.  It is a deliberate practice to be happy.

    Besides, I think the best way to praise God is to spend our days happy with what we have been given. As Charles Spurgeon once said, “It is not how much we have, but how much we enjoy, that makes us happy.”

    Blessings,

    Rev. Heather McCarrel

    The photo was taken by Margaret Jaszowska used with permission/Unsplash

  • Sanctuary

    Sanctuary

    Recently, I had the privilege of visiting a lovely church.  Its sanctuary is full of stain glass windows and this ministry has a rich history of being a beacon of God’s love for over 140 years.  As I stood, masked, at one side of the sanctuary, a church member stood at the other side sharing beautiful stories of this beloved faith community.  When it came time to leave, he looked longingly around and honestly admitted “It has been too long since I have been here. I don’t want to leave.”

    I deeply understood his sentiment.  Each Sunday, like so many others, I join worship virtually via the live stream from my church.  Thankfully we can “chrome cast” the service to our TV screen, and together my husband and I join with others to sing, pray, and reflect.   There are some advantages to gathering for virtual worship. For example, at my church the chat bar is open allowing those who join worship to share a “hello” and a bit of fellowship prior to and following each service. We can also freshen up our coffee during the service without anyone knowing!  But it isn’t the same as being in the church’s sanctuary.

    This pandemic living has me wondering where sanctuary can be found when one cannot go into the church building.  The Merriam-Webster Dictionary defines sanctuary as “a place of refuge and protection.”  Some have told me their place of sanctuary is a special spot in nature- either the sandy shores of Lake Huron or Georgian Bay, while others enjoy the forest canopy and accompanying birdsong. There are a few I know who find sanctuary in their gardens, watching the antics of the chipmunks while tending to God’s beauty.

    Michael A Singer, author of The Untethered Soul and The Surrender Experiment, teaches that there are actually two worlds: one that goes on all around us, and one that goes on within us. He teaches that there is a power within us that pulls us upward. If we focus our inner self towards God, others, and eternity, we can create a refuge; we begin to create our own inner sanctuary.

    Where do you find your sanctuary?  Where is your refuge?  If you haven’t developed one, maybe this pandemic is the perfect opportunity to do so!  

    Blessings,

    Rev. Heather McCarrel

    Photo by Lua Valentia used with permission/Unsplash

  • One of God’s Lost Boys

    One of God’s Lost Boys

    It has been one of my greatest privileges to serve as a chaplain over the years.  My first position began in 2006, and since then I have served in several Long Term Care settings, hospital settings, a hospice and, within my own denomination.  This week’s story took place during the 18 months I served as a Student Chaplain in a Mental Health Unit.  It is with permission that I share this story.

    I met up with some of God’s lost boys this week, those tossed aside by society but tenderly held in the palm of God’s steadfast grasp.  One has dubbed me “The Spiritual Lady” and is always prepared for prayer each time our paths cross.  This week he yelled from halfway down the hall, “Hey Spiritual Lady!  Do you have time to pray with me?” 

    “Of course”, I respond and we found a quiet corner.

    Before we started I asked, “Is there anything specific you want to pray about?”

    “I will start the prayer and you can finish it off” he said before bowing his head and folding his hands on his lap. I too closed my eyes and settled back into my chair.

    With a serious and quieted tone he began, “To whom it may concern.”

    My laugh was audible but when I looked up to his earnest posture and continued prayer I knew it meant he wasn’t joking.  He was set to have a serious conversation with whoever would listen.

    I again closed my eyes and folded my hands.  What followed was one of the most honest prayers I have had the privilege to eavesdrop upon. He shared his hopes, fears, regrets, and asked for forgiveness for a list of wrong doings.  Before ending he shared in a joke with God saying, “And now I end with “eh-man” instead of “ah-men” (amen) because I am Canadian, eh?!”  Then he laughed at his own joke.

    All that was left for me to pray was to thank God for the gift of being present to witness the connection between God and this beloved son of his.  I too ended with “Eh-Men” and we parted with a smile at the private joke shared between the three of us!

    May we all take time during these “stay at home” COVID days to find a quiet corner and converse with our ever present Creator, sharing our joys, fears, regrets and wrong doings; may this prayerful time end with such a joy that it fills our days with laughter. 

    Blessings,

    Rev. Heather McCarrel

    Photo by Andrew Neel used with permission/Unsplash

  • To Touch The Wisdom of the Universe

    To Touch The Wisdom of the Universe

    Whenever life becomes overwhelming, I go outside and stand under my maple tree and lookup.  Whether it is day or night, sunshine or rain, I always gain courage by standing under my maple.

    I look past the tall trunk and through the upward reaching limbs and gaze at the timeless sky. Knowing that under this sky the human story has unfolded for generations, it has been the canopy of our existence as a species.

    That moon I see is the same moon that led the Israelites in their 40-year journey to the promised land.  The same sun that shone down on Jesus as he traveled from town to town, shines on us today.

    It isn’t enough to just stand under the maple, to gain the full extent of its grounding power one must lean on its trunk or run their hands along one of its limbs.  I know it must sound silly, but by holding onto a limb, even for a moment, is like holding the hand of an old, wise and calming presence in the universe.

    If you have never stood under an old stately tree and leaned into its soothing presence, then I highly recommend you do so, right now, no matter the time of day or the weather, just go and touch a bit of the grounding wisdom of the universe.

    Photo by Kevin Young/Unsplash

  • Stillness

    Stillness

    It began as a daily observation but became a source of great healing. I first noticed little green tips pointing out of the cold, hard ground. They grew tall seemingly right before my eyes.  Then the buds appeared, growing slowly to reveal their hidden gems.  At last my flower beds are full of their yellow, white, pink and purple celebration, perfuming the air with promises of sunshine, warmth and joyful days ahead.

    These slowed-down COVID days have afforded me the time to sit still and capture all the life around me.  This life has been happening all along unnoticed.  Now I have charted the ever changing growth of the flowers, the budding and growth of the maple trees (have you noticed the bobbles they are now donning?) and the dramatic brightness of the forsythia bushes. 

    I have sat in silence enjoying the building of new nests and the refurbishing of old ones.  Many giggles have been shared over the amusing antics of the red, black and grey squirrels.  And I had no idea how many visitors there were to my backyard until now: midnight visits from raccoons and owls, followed by a chorus of morning birds rising alongside the spring sun on the backs of rabbits, skunks and the neighborhood cats.

    The ongoing affairs in my small piece of God’s Creation promises to entertain me in the weeks ahead.  I anticipate the lilac bushes bursting with colour, the blueberry bushes exploding with sustenance and the rhubarb growing tall and unyielding.  The vegetable garden has been tilled and waits to receive the peas, beans and tomato plants that now fill my window sills. And I can’t wait to see how many chicks the robins produce.

    The great Stoic Markus Aurelius wrote that having stillness allows us to “concentrate on living what can be lived (the present moment).” Only then, he said, “can you spend the time you have left in tranquility. And in kindness. And at peace with the spirit within you.”   (Daily Stoic: Ryan Holiday)

    May we all appreciate the gift of stillness which these Stay-At-Home days afford us and may we glean tranquility, peace and beauty with each and every day.

    Blessings,

    Rev. Heather McCarrel

    Photo by Melissa Askew used with permission/Unsplash

    P.S. With gratitude to Sandy Lindsay requesting that this BLOG continue in the Saugeen Times and with permission granted from my denomination it has been decided Stainglasslens will continue to part of this online newspaper.